When Christians changed the name of their deity from Yahuweh
to Jehovah, they cut off their god’s penis.
Seriously. In Hebrew, the suffix
“-weh” signifies masculine and the suffix “-wah” signifies feminine. Blame the Masoretes, of course, who in the midst
of the otherwise tinkering with holy writ altered the vowel notations to hide
the true pronunciation.
That’s not the only change made in the transition from
Judaism to Christianity, when adherents of the latter recreated God in their
own image just as the Jews had created him in their image in the first place.
The Jews had a Trinity of sorts already, or at least you can say that
the Christian version had some of its roots in Judaism.
In Judaism, there is the Creator and Father. Towards the end of the Hellenistic period, Jewish
philosophers, especially of the Hellenistic variety, began putting more
emphasis on the Word of God as its own aspect of the divine and on the Presence
of God, also known as the Ruach ha-Kodesh, or Holy Spirit.
The Alexandrian Jewish philosopher Flavius Philo Judaeus
identified the first aspect with a transformed version of the Stoic’s Logos, or
mediator (literally Reason), while he identified the second aspect with Sophia
(Wisdom) with a feminine nature, which the Ruach ha-Kodesh already had in
Judaism.
So, along comes Christianity, the lopper-offer of divine
penises.
To the Christians, the Logos became identified with Jesus
bar Joses, who undoubtedly already had a penis of his own as the Son of God. So, no problem there.
The Jewish Christians, who followed Petros/Cephas and the
Desposyni (Jesus’ relatives), were the first fruits of the new variety and had
no problem with a feminine Presence of God/Holy Spirit since that’s what they’d
always believed. Indeed, Apostolic
Father Origen (who lopped off his own penis along with his testicles) reports that in the Gospel according to the Hebrews used by
Jewish Christians, Jesus says that after his temptation, “Even did my
mother, the Holy Spirit, take me by one of my hairs and carry me away to the
great mountain Tabor.”
The Gentiles who
got ahold of this myth were faced with a quandary because they wanted to make
Jesus bar Joses the product of divine and human spiritual copulation. Had they left the Holy Spirit as she was,
their version would have put the stamp of approval on same-sex unions and made
their Savior the product of such.
They didn’t seem to
have a problem with the idea of Jesus bar Joses being conceived outside of
wedlock in conditions which then amounted to adultery.
Fortunately for
these misogynistic Gentiles they already had on hand a divine penis just
floating around needing a “body” to attach itself to, so they used that. Jesus bar Joses became the result not of an
adulterous same sex union but of an adulterous opposite sex union between a
female-to-male transexualized person of a divine trinity and a human female.
3 comments:
Stoicism influenced jewish monotheism and the later Christian monotheism.
Stoicism had some effect on Jewish monotheism, but only after the Macedonian conquest. Before that, Judaism and Samaritanism had been exposed to Zoroastrianism after the conquest by Iran in 539 BCE.
Jews definitely had Strong Persian connections, the Elephantine military outpost and one of the Hasmonean kings are called Hyrcanus of the Iranian region of Hyrcania.
Christiniaty is a judaized form of Zoroastrianism
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