Jesus H. Christ and Chromosomes

In the Names of Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

Sometimes I sit around and wonder about things like, “If Jesus H. Christ’s parents are Mary with the Cherry and the Spook, does that mean Junior only had 23 chromosomes?”

Which then makes me wonder, “If J.C. only had 23 chromosomes, how was he ‘fully human’?”

So then I wonder, “If J.C. only had 23 chromosomes, how was he even alive?” Of course, it occurs to me that he couldn’t be.

So then I wonder, “If Mary with the Cherry ‘conceived by the Holy Spook when the ‘Angel of the Lord came into her’, why is another Person of the so-called Trinity called ‘Big Daddy’?”

So then I wonder, “If the Holy Spook produced 23 chromosomes to bring J.C.’s total to 46, then how was Junior ‘begotten not created’?”

So then I wonder, “Since according to Jewish thought the Holy Spook is female, the feminine aspect of the divine, how did she ‘beget’?  By growing a penis?”

So then I wonder, “Does the extramarital union of the the Holy Spook and Mary with the Cherry that produced J.C. count as the first offspring-producing lesbian relationship in world history?”

So then I wonder, “With no Y-chromosomes, how could Junior have been male?”

So then I wonder, “If J.C. was both fully divine and fully human, which god and which human provided the other 46 chromosomes?”

So then I wonder, “How could a person with 92 chromosomes even exist?”

So then I wonder, “Why did the baptismal stories of all four canonical gospels and many of those noncanonical originally read, ‘You are my son; this day I have begotten you’ if Junior’d already been magically produced by the union of the female Mary with the Cherry and the female Spook and gestated for the normal amount of time?”

And I also wonder, “Why did Paul, writing decades before the gospels were first written before being rewritten, redacted, and interpolated according to current fads in theology and needs of various powers of this world, say that J.C. became the Son of God at his resurrection if he had either been magically produced by Mary and the Spook or else adopted at his baptism?”